Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
