He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We're too hungover to prance.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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