the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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