Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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