we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Randomize
