god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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