So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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