I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
