I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
