WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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