Im at strip club and am horny
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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