He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
