It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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