Your dad touched me again.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
