You're a womanizer and a bitch.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
