So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
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I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
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The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
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