I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
