don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
