piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
