dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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