i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
