there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
