She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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