How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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