i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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