She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize