i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
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I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
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bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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