so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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