you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my phone needs a breathalizer
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize