Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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