Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
