I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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