Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
