It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
whose ass print is on the piano?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
