We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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