and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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