my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
