...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
