tell your sister to shave her snatch
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
