real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
