I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
