I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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