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I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
then he tried to convert me to islam
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
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