i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!