Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him