as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
