it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize