I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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