Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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