we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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