North Korea, Best Korea!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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