you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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