Define "chronic" masturbator.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
