mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
