Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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