the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
